So What Have You Learned?

   It's now been over three months since I left Indonesia and nearly five months since I gave my last lesson. As I'm settling back into life in the UK, I've realised how much I enjoyed my life out there and how much I enjoyed my job. Why did I come back then? The answer to that is complicated but regardless of that I can look back on my experience as a 'growing pain' of some description. Think about, how many of us have experienced life outside of the one that we know? I certainly wanted to do that after wasting my time in a desk job - that was an ongoing role rather than a permanent one -  that saw me being made redundant before Christmas 2011. That was final straw for me, I had enough of holding down meaningless jobs that I did not look forward to waking up in the morning for. I knew something had to change. In the weeks following my redundancy, I was given a healthy enough package for my services and I knew what to do with it. 

   ESL teaching was something that I found interesting but immediately dismissed as an option because there was no money in it and the good opportunities were abroad (although this was the basis of the appeal). Many of my friends had done it and had the time of their lives. So I was faced with the dilemma. Do I stay in the rut that I had dug myself or sign up to an online TEFL course that would be the start of something new. I choose the later. I signed up to i-to-i's TEFL online course and weekend taster. The weekend taster was an eye-opening experience where I was put on the spot a few times and was quite nervous when I had to give my own lesson. I also became dedicated to my online course treating it as if I was a university student again. While I was doing my course, I found work where the hours were from 3pm to 10pm so I did my prep and lesson work during the day. When I finally passed the course, I set about looking for ESL jobs abroad. I had a few interviews lined up in October and November for schools in Spain,China and Indonesia. Spain appealed to me because it was closer to home but the drawback of not making a lot of money quickly dawned on me and with China I was not in love with the city - Harbin which was not my first choice - as it was famous for its awful winters was a resounding hell-no! So that left me with Indonesia, admittedly it did not feel like an interview just a just with a nice old man. In the end the nice old man offered me a job and agreed to come at the end of January. The rest is of course, history.

I threw myself into the role and relished the challenge that greeted me everyday when working for a franchised language school. By throwing myself into the role, I had to adapt to certain situations that frequently occurred throughout my tenure and in that I learnt a great deal about myself. One of the things I had to deal with were my students' tardiness and lack of attendance.This had an affect on my carefully laid lesson plans as I had to switch things up in the way of activities and ideas to do with limited number of students, this would work most of times as I had ideas but sometimes did not come off as well as I had hoped.The thing that remained though was that I maintained  Therefore, I was surprised at how flexible and creative I was in my approach in teaching, this creativity manifested itself in some fun lesson like the one where I introduced the game of Pictionary for a production activity on modal verbs with my elementary  pre-teens or using flashcards as my sole resource in a Beginner Business English class for different presentation and practice games and  activities in learning office vocabulary. I was shocked at how well my moments of ingenuity turned out. I suppose I always had it in me.

I enjoyed teaching younger learners ( age 10 and under) because the classes were easier to plan and my students; were for the most part, willing and enthusiastic participants oh and not to mention stupidly adorable! These classes required a lot of energy and patience (qualities I thought I lost in my years as an admin worker) plus a love for children. I also had great time sharing my 'inner child' with them by playing ring games and singing songs from my childhood in Jamaica all in the name of learning English. Being around children made realize my latent desire at some point in my life that I want to be a mother. Doc and I have always talked about our future and getting married and starting a family are definitely on the cards. So watch this space perhaps the next adventure I'll be on is one down the aisle and starting a little brown tribe with Doc. But I digress, working with younger learners has made me realize that working with children is an option for whatever path I choose in the near future.

ESL teaching also allowed me to develop my interpersonal skills. I became friendly with of course my fellow teachers but most importantly the local staff and students. While it was great to have stuff in common with fellow teachers, it was my conversations with students and local staff I enjoyed. Why you wonder? Because we exchanged and compared life growing up in different countries and cultures which helped me gage a new perspective on how life is for Indonesians. Many of the members of the staff were not born and bred Jakartans, they came from all corners of Indonesia to make a life for themselves. I could relate to their struggles as this was how life was for my family and friends in Jamaica having to leave their lives in their villages to live and work in Kingston, Jamaica's equivalent to Jakarta.,same could be said for London as most of my friends headed there for work after university. Some of the stories I heard both astounded and shocked me in some respects but the beauty of meeting new people is that you become more sensitive and less judgemental towards the circumstances of others.

My year in Indonesia has taught me a lot about myself as a person. I realized that I am a far more empathetic than I thought. I can be a cynical cow most times; however, by allowing myself to be sensitive to those around me as this helped me get to know people and their needs which made me a better teacher. I also found that when necessary I can be creative which will keep in good stead in whatever I choose as a career path. I always felt that my creative juices were stifled due to my years doing routine desk jobs but now I have found a new confidence of not being afraid to allow my creative juices to flow. I am sure that this experience has helped me grow as a person and will keep in good stead in whatever path I choose.




This is my last post as Chocolate Bule. Thank you so much for following and random ramblings. I hope you enjoyed it! Watch this space as I will return.

Chocolate Bule Meltdown

This was a blog post long in the making. I had probably hinted at my state of mind a few months ago in a past blog. You see I had a meltdown. Not a psychotic episode or a bad day at school or having a fight with my housemates, no I had a few miserable months. October, November and December to be exact. This coincided with my absence from the blogosphere in that period. The scary thing was that apart from Doc, I did not relay my fears to none of my housemates or friends. That I was going through a depressing period in Jakarta. I did not want any one to comfort me because I've always been an individual who could look after myself emotionally and therefore did not need anyone to look after me.

Unbeknownst to my friends and colleagues, I acted like everything was fine. I went to work, did my classes, gossiped with my colleagues. Everything was normal on the outside. But the reality was that I was struggling to keep it together on the inside. I was crying in my sleep, I had trouble sleeping (I would get 4 hours if I'm lucky) and I would comfort eat on all the things that were bad for me (J.CO Donuts, Ice cream, pizza, etc). The binge eating could not quell any of the negative feelings and almost immediately I would feel horrible. What was wrong with me? Why did I feel this way? How can I overcome this?

Now that I've given myself time to reflect on those months, I realized where all the negativity came from.It was the fact that I was returning home with no great prospects plus my own insecurities as a teacher. As listed below here are some of the reasons and some probable solutions.

1.)  Doubting myself as a teacher- I got given a low level adult class , a challenging teen class, a low- intermediate business class that was out of school and an intermediate business class at another school . These were classes that I've found to be tricky to teach despite my experience in teaching these levels. The elementary adult class in particular was a pain in my ass because they did not appreciate the fact that they were there to learn and not gossip. I walked out of that class a couple of times because they pissed me off that much.  The low level intermediate teen class also did my nut in because in that class I had far too many clowns who sat together and refused to work with other classmates especially female ones and therefore made the classes awkward and difficult to teach.In spite of that, I did like the little bastards in the end. The intermediate business class at the other school was fine; however, with business English the danger is low attendance and in a class of 5, there were many times I had one on one lessons with a student. Needless to say, this further pissed me off!

This then created a knock on effect on my other classes. I was just not inspired to teach, I was over it! My poor low-intermediate business class and young learners bore the brunt of it because I no longer cared. I stopped planning lessons and instead stuck to mundane bookwork which is not exciting for myself or the students. It is easy to blame the students lack of attendance and in some cases lack of enthusiasm that indeed affected me as a teacher.

I felt it wass my job to stir up interest and make them want to learn. But as I learned, education is a two way street. I could only do so much as the teacher and it is up to the students to learn and study the language outside of the classroom. My biggest peeves with all my students was tardiness and lack of attendance which of course affects their learning and ability to pass the course. I had two options either keep planning to the best of my ability and teach or stop giving a shit. I chose the later. This is not to say that I did not care about my classes and how I taught them, this was more to do with letting the students' have their own autonomy on learning. I was too scared of my students failing because of how it would reflect on me as a teacher and instead just focussed on the matter at hand which was to deliver a good lesson and if all else failed there were always extra lessons for struggling students.

2. What the fuck am I going to do when I get back to UK? Is a question I've been asking myself since November. Now that I am no longer employed, the bubble has well and truly burst. The realization that I'm no longer an ESL teacher evaporated the moment I received my bonus and flight reimbursement. I realized 'shit, this is what I have to live on for the next month and beyond'. I am so scared of going back jobless and then six months down the line, still be in that state. This question has been asked by my friends, family and even Doc. It has given me sleepless nights and headaches. After having this job, I can't look at another desk job ever again without thinking that this shit is going to be boring. So, I decided that I will venture out my once comfort zone and look seriously at areas that take my interest. ESL is of course one of those areas, in addition to social media and being a teaching assistant.

So what am I going to do? Take charge that's what! I am very fortunate to have a boyfriend who would not allow me to wallow in self loathing and unemployment; therefore, he said he will help me on my quest to find gainful employment. My five point plan of action for survival in Edinburgh is this:

• See my loved ones family, in-laws and friends in my first few weeks home.
• Fix up my CV. I'm tinkering my LinkedIn profile as we speak and will do the same with my paper CV.
• APPLY, APPLY, APPLY- for any and everything well except for bar work and waitressing. I will also look into volunteer work to beef up my ESL experience.
• Apply for a CELTA or CertTESOL course for the April, May, June and July period. I got my eye on a couple of schools in Edinburgh so watch this space. I'm aiming for that period so that by that time I could pay with my salary (if I get a job).
• If all else fails get on the Dole - well I'll give it a couple of months before I start applying.

3. Food Inglorious Food - I am gluttonous human. I binge on all kinds of bad things and it was made worst when I moved here. because most of the bad things were dirt cheap. On a weekly basis, I gorged on a variety of junk food, Indonesian food (which is fried everything and no vegetables) and drank free alcohol like it was going out of fashion (ladies night what can I say?). Great diet right? WRONG!  I virtually cut out vegetables and healthy carbs and fibre out of my diet.  Of course all of this was not good for me and so my body said fuck you and in return constipation, dehydration, migraines, insomnia, weight gain (put on 10lbs since I've been here) and stunted hair growth. I was not happy with myself because I did not feel healthy. So I reasoned with myself and felt some changes had to be made on my part.

My solution is this. When I return to the UK, I will binge for a few weeks on all the stuff that I missed out on while in Indonesia (bacon, cheese, cider, donuts and the like) and then get started on my diet and exercise plan that will eliminate all those lovely but bad things and replace them with bland but good things starting with the scary Master Clense detox diet and then phasing out processed food, alcohol and all the other bad shit. Yoga and swimming will be apart of my fitness regime as well as hill walking and biking. Doc is super happy about the latter as it is his favourite hobby.

I am happy to report that I am over my meltdown and now I can only look forward to returning home but at the same time look back with pride and fondness of my time in Indonesia.

A long overdue update

I think I'm due a long overdue update so where do I begin?!

August and September departures and arrivals - September was one of the worst months for me as both Withnail and Irish C have departed from Jakarta. Irish C's departure was hastened by the tragic passing of his mother. I know he will be back soon but I do miss his Irish charm in the staffroom. My dear Withnail left Jakarta on the day Doc arrived so my sadness was mixed with joy and butterflies. I have no one to bitch about how crap Man United to (apart from Doc of course!) He is now living it up in Italy. S left Jakarta  just over a week before Withnail, her effervescence is missed at workshops. So with departures come arrivals. I have new housemates who are sound and bubbly and have brought back the house spirit. Lovely Irish lass called B and larger than life Welsh dude Veruca arrived in August after during Eid-ul-Fitri. Myself, Manc C and Lola - housemate since April, I don't think I've mentioned her before on here - are very happy with our house. We also got Kent L, a newbie who used to live somewhere else but now lives with replacing The Weird One.

About The Weird One - I don't think I've ever mentioned him before but my now ex housemate was quite a  strange man and from what I understand not a good teacher. He recently got the sack and if I'm being honest I will not miss him because he creeped the shit out of me and Lola, not to mention he always left the kitchen in a terrible state.

Beginners *smh* - At the moment, I am teaching adult beginners Business English and it is probably the most frustrating thing ever. One of the  things with learning a new language is to practice the language so that it remains fresh; however, this advice gets lost in translation. I rarely teach adult beginners so it is something very new and challenging. I feel patronising speaking slowly to adults but if I spoke at normal rate I would get the usual 'Apa?' which is not a good thing if my students can't understand me. I think if I did a CELTA course then I would be fully prepared for situations like this one I'm in. I also despise the textbook being used, it utterly shite!

The IWB is my friend - The Interactive Whiteboard brings my lessons to life. It works a treat especially with my young classes. I am not a proficient user by any stretch of the imagination but it has saved a couple of dire lessons. Totally recommend it for ESL teaching.

Being in Charge - This week saw me doing two very senior things. First one was invigilating TOEIC exams taken by a corporate class I used to teach. It has to be the most boring thing I have ever done n my entire life. In fact, I'd rather sit the exam. And now I have to mark the papers,UGH!!! The second thing I had to do was organizing the school's Spelling Bee as the DOS and senior teacher were off doing courses. I had to co-ordinate the teachers and staff and mark paper plus also take responsibility for any fuck ups. Thankfully, things went smoothly because everything was so well organized.

Flores for Christmas -  I will be spending Christmas on the island of Flores with the J's. I am super excited about this as Flores is another island that I've heard nothing but good things. It is the gateway to the island of Komodo to see the famous Komodo Dragons. Flores is a beautiful island and I can't wait to explore it!

Before I forget - I got a Band 4 in the Teaching Knowledge Test. Band 4 is the highest by the way so GO ME!

That's all that's new with me! Stay tuned for more updates.

My S**t Week at work!

I do not like being a negative Nelly, but deary me it is so easy to be one. Last week, I had my worst week as a teacher! I know it sounds melodramatic but seriously it really was. Two factors that made this week so unbearable were: illness and a change in my routine.

Towards the end of my holiday I was suffering from a nasty head cold - that as the week went on manifested into something worse - and a horrible case of PMS. Thankfully, this all took place on the final stretch of the holiday so I was not complaining too much. But I was in for a nasty shock when I got back to Jakarta.

When we finally reached home from the airport, C and I sat down in our living room and regaled our house mates with our holiday tales. T my DOS, then said to me that you are going to find some changes to your schedule. WTH!  'How so?' I asked. You will be working at another school on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I was relieved to know that the school was only a 20 minute walk from my house, but I hid my dismay from T. This meant that I will be missing my two favourite classes and having to build rapport with  new centre staff (luckily I know some of the teachers including Little C and Scottish J). Not only that, but I have taken on new classes at my base school teaching 4 year olds and adult Business English on Mondays and Wednesdays. At the other school, I am also teaching Business English in the evenings which means I finish at 9 Monday through to Thursday. 

I did the decent thing and begrudgingly said OK. 

As the week wore on at the new school, I took on moody 13 year old know-it-alls , disgruntled adults not happy having a new teacher for the fifth time in 5 months (which I don't blame them!) and precocious 6 year olds. All of this was coupled with my worsening 'ailments' previously mentioned and Little C has been off work because she has pink-eye (conjunctivitis) so not much moral and girly support at school that week. 

This routine is going to be carried on for sometime 3 months to be exact.On the positive, it was only my first week and that is now out the way, so next week is a new week. Hedge your bets to see how long it will take for me to crack.