Five Things I Miss and Five Things I Don't Miss about Jakarta

Mal Sarinah in Jakarta Pusat

It's been 9 weeks since I left Jakarta and I miss the bitch! This south-east Asian concrete jungle of a city was my home for a year and what an intense experience it was? In the beginning, there was not a day that went by where I got pissed off with it and vented my frustrations to my house mates, colleagues or anyone that listened for that matter. The honest truth was that I did not love Jakarta! However, as  time went on, my attitude towards Jakarta mellowed out and I became tolerant and at some points liked it. As I mentioned before, I did not love Jakarta, but I appreciated her for taking me and not swallowing me whole as she had done to so many other foreigners. In the 9 weeks I've been away from her, I've reflected on my time there and I realised how much I got out of it. Friendship,a career option and the opportunity to travel. So I compiled a list of ten things - i.e. five things I miss and five things I don't miss - about living in Jakarta.

• I don't miss Jakarta traffic - I foreshadowed that this was going to be the bane of my existence in this blog and it continued to irritate the hell out of me the longer I lived there. Indonesians are some of the worst drivers in the world and it is any wonder why there are so many road fatalities in Jakarta alone? The worst was during wet season when people just forgot how to drive and created five lanes of traffic with malicious sounding car horns going on and on. I however dealt with it as well as I could and just rolled with it like every other sucker.
• I miss Indonesian food  -  If I'm being very honest, I did not love Indonesian food. I thought it lacked depth of flavour and was not very diverse. I could probably call it the British of Asian cuisine (very unfair!) Most Indonesian food is served warungs ,street carts, Padang restaurants and regular restaurants that specialise in regional Indonesian cuisine. But I digress, I did love some of the food on offer and ate them with no problems and as often as I could especially if it was SO good. My favourites were Beef Rendang (2nd picture),Sate Ayam (1st picture), Nasi Uduk,Ayam Goreng and Nasi Goreng.

• I don't miss taxi drivers - I can say with confidence that around 60% of the taxi drivers in Jakarta alone have tried to rip me off. The main reason for this is because I'm non-Indonesian and female *smh*. Another pet peeve I had was the drivers' lack of knowledge of the city. Unless you know where you are going,chances are you are going to get lost. The more lost you are, the more expensive cab ride will be.That shit frustrated me to death and I walked out on a few occasions and walked to my destination.
• I miss ojeks - Oh ojeks! (picture below). So much fun and so much frustration at the same time. Let me explain the fun part, an exhilarating and often times dangerous ride on these mad men on bikes gets you where you need to go within reason of course (ojeks don't go from one end of Jakarta to the next). Often, they got me where I needed to go in quick time, weaving in and out of traffic like a boss. The frustration came with bargaining with the occasional a-hole and dealing with their chauvinistic attitudes towards me, which I dealt with by telling them in kind exactly what I thought in English and Bahasa. Regardless, I enjoyed the ojeks and took them rather than taxis.

• I don't miss the pollution - Jakarta is without a doubt one of the dirtiest cities I've ever lived in. The air reeked of car fumes, rubbish was strewn in the streets and rivers.Look at the picture below at the skyline,look at the smog! It's not like I'm not used to pollution but I had not seen it on this level before and I'm sure the more I travel, the more I'll see it.

• I miss Ladies' Nights -  Apart from Facebar, this was my home. Nothing more satisfying than drinking cocktails that were free after a long ass day. Ladies' Nights were in specific bars around the city. However, my favourite and the one in which I was a patron was Thursday night at the Grand Hyatt. It made sense because I did not work the next day lol! Can you imagine Ladies Night in Edinburgh or just anywhere in the UK? The bars would be drunk dry.
• I don't miss being stared at  - I already talked about my feelings of being black in Jakarta in this post. It became quite irritating towards the end that people on my street who I saw day in day out stared at me like I had two heads. Don't get me wrong I am not the only person who has been 'othered', many of my colleagues- majority of whom are white - had experienced being stared at like they had not seen white people before. Bizarre considering you do see many some tourists trekking around Jakarta. Personally, I don't mind if people interact with me to try and get to know me but staring with no action is just plain rude and scary. 
•  I miss being in Indonesia - As much as I did not love Jakarta, I could not help but fall in love with Indonesia. Indonesia is one of the most beautiful places I have ever been and it was an honour living there. I only visited the popular islands of Bali (1st picture), Lombok (3rd picture) and Flores (2nd picture) but there is so much more to see and I would like to return and explore this lovely land. If I were to return to Indonesia, I would visit Sumatra, Sulawesi, Kalimantan,Papua and other parts of Java. I forgot to mention that I miss the heat now that I am back in 'sunny' Scotland.

• I don't miss smoking - I have a nasty secret to tell you... I started smoking again when I was in Indonesia!In Indonesia, there isn't a smoking ban like there is in the UK and cigarettes are dirt cheap (£1.00 a pack). Nearly everyone and there mother smoked here and it didn't help that my housemates and co-workers smoked too! It didn't take long for me to start having the odd one when I was drinking at a bar or a club. So one became two and then I started buying my own pack five years after quitting. I then decided to quit a month before Doc visited and I was fag free until October when I was in the middle of my breakdown. I quit them for good in the new year since I was going back home (at £8 pack in the UK, can you blame me?!). But why start again in the first place? I don't know perhaps boredom, peer pressure, lack of vice, whatever; I started and stopped as soon as I could. Do I miss it? Not really in all honesty.
• I miss my friends - A journey is best measured in friends rather than miles is a quote from Tim Cahill. This certainly resonates with me as I met so many interesting and awesome people. I met some wonderful Indonesians who made me feel welcome and at home. They made me feel comfortable and put up with me butchering their language. I will also mostly miss my fellow teachers especially the ones I had the distinct pleasure of working and living with. They had been nothing but my tower of strength and support during my year. I certainly made some friends for life out there with whom I would like to embark on another adventure wherever it may be. As a matter of fact, Little C and I are going to Denmark in May and the Jays (picture below) are coming to Scotland next week with Girl J staying with me for a couple of days. Excited much? Yes I am.

Have you ever missed a place after returning home? How did you cope being back home?

Dealing with a Long Distance Relationship (LDR)

On our respective graduations 2007 and 2008

 
    I recently watched  a film called Going the Distance starring Drew Barrymore and Justin Long. The film was OK at best but what resonated with me was what the two protagonists had to deal with. An issue that I was all to familiar with this past year. The issue being keeping a relationship going despite being thousands of miles away from your beloved.

   As you well know, I have a long term boyfriend who I fondly named Doc on this blog (8 years and still liking the sight of each other!) and I left him for a whole YEAR - discounting his trip out to visit me in August - to work and live in Indonesia. Am I nuts? Maybe. It was one of the hardest decisions I had ever made, but one that I do not regret because if anything, our love for each other grew stronger for everyday we were apart. You know the saying 'absence makes the heart grow fonder', corny but very true!

This was not the first time Doc and I were not in the same place for a long period time. At university, we did the long distance thing when he was doing his year in industry near London, I was finishing up my course in Leeds. It was not ideal but we saw each other fortnightly and enjoyed banter on a then new thing called Facebook. Since then we had not been apart for more than two weeks and then Indonesia happened. I'm not going to lie, I started missing him after my third week. One too many longing Skype chats and of course the occasional breakdown made me miss my love even more. Our August reunion meant that we had not physically seen each other for six months and our reunion in Edinburgh airport a few weeks ago was another five months from that.

On holiday in Bali 2013

Despite being separated by 7 time zones and being 14 hours away by flight; we miraculously made it work! But how you wonder? I'll tell you:

• I made Skype my new bosom buddy - Doc and I spoke to each other nearly everyday using it to video chat and instant message each other (when the internet works). It is also cost effective when talking on a landline. I also recommend What's App and Facebook Messenger if you both have smartphones (I did not have smartphone in Indonesia). Communication is key for the survival of any relationship.
• Being clear on the parameters of our relationship - It is important to have an honest and open conversation about your relationship with your significant other before embarking on an LDR such as defining it and what are your hopes and expectations for it. From that conversation, you should get a clear idea if you want to enter an LDR with this person. Doc and I have a long term relationship so we were pretty clear that we were exclusive and hope to go one step further when I return to the UK.
• Trying to communicate in a different way - With the advancements made in telecommunications, some of the ways of old can be very touching. Writing letters might seem old-fashioned but it holds a great deal of sweet sentimentality, not to mention the fact that it keeps the relationship interesting and romantic! That being said, I did not write Doc any letters while I was in Indonesia ( it would take forever to get to the UK!) but I did it when we had our first separation at university. For Indonesia, I dropped a video message once a month in his Dropbox.

Croatia 2007

• Being positive about not seeing each other - Staying positive about the relationship is essential. So in order to have a happier outlook, drop the negativity about not seeing each other all the time! Channel the negativity into something else like a new hobby, for me it was getting to know my housemates, creating this blog, focus on my job and exploring Indonesia.
• Don't take it personal or be jealous -  Things can get hectic for both of you with work and other social engagements getting in the way. But never take it personally if one of you forgot to respond to a message or missed a call or feel guilty about missing an arranged chat because you were busy getting hammered at Ladies night (guilty as charged) . We had those moments but we had to be flexible and understanding about it and move on from it.

Jamaica 2009

• Relax and do it - I am an advocate of  Skype sex. Some people might be prudish about it ( I know I certainly was) but it is key to keeping the physical aspect of the relationship in check. 

Have any of you been in a long distance relationship? How did you deal?

COUNTING THE DAYS!

I now have 7 teaching days left and over three weeks before I leave on an airplane for Edinburgh where I will be reunited with my beloved Doc. I am excited about living in another big city especially Edinburgh. I lived in Glasgow for four years so I'm interested to see how Scotland's capital compares. Hogmanay,The Fringe Festival and the Tattoo are just a few of the main events that will keep me busy and interested. Not a bad place to call home, eh?



My new home

My last holiday in Indonesia will be the Javanese capital of Yogyakarta. Home to the mystical temples of Borobudur and Prambanan. Jogja has long been on my radar but time and work got in the way so I think it fitting that I save my last Indonesian adventure for last.




Borobodur

Prambanan Temple

Since this is going to be a solo trip, I might post a blog or two but I can't promise.

Have you been to 'Jogya' before? Any advice and suggestions?

Musings on being Black in the Big Durian

Me at Bunderan HI

I guess I had this post in mind ever since I got here. I was not sure how to approach this subject but after reading Oneika the Traveller's post about race and travel, I thought to myself it's about time to talk about my experience in Indonesia so far. I will start off by saying that in the past eight months I've been living here, I have not experienced any form of racism (not that I go looking for it). I'm British of Jamaican descent. I spent a healthy portion of my life in Jamaica where unsurprisingly the majority of the population is black. When I was 18, I moved to the UK for university and lived there for nearly eight years prior to my move to Indonesia. I quickly became used to the notion that I was in a minority and  just got on with it. If anything, this prepared me for life in Jakarta. This is not to say that Indonesia is a homogeneous society; in fact, it is one of the most diverse countries in Asia with ethnic groups like Javanese and Sudanese making up the majority and smaller groups like the Bataks, Betawis and Chinese all contributing to the cultural and social identity of this country. It is interesting to note that while there are that many different ethnic groups here, the sight of pale skin or in my case dark skin can still appear to be a novelty?

The answer is simple, we are a novelty! We are in the minority and it is painfully obvious when I'm being stared at. While I am hardly the only black girl in Jakarta, I still find myself being stared at even in my neighbourhood in Central Jakarta. Men and women who work in the warungs and hang out on my street still take double takes like I'm a figment of their imagination, despite the fact that I've been walking up and down this street for the past eight months. The same occurs in my area of work (East Jakarta) where I do get stared at constantly but that is maybe less surprising considering the demographics of the area (most foreigners live in either South or Central Jakarta). Staring is not seen as offensive here in Indonesia but to me as a Westerner it frightens the shit out of me. Naturally, I've tried to adapt to it, often attempting to make small talk, which could provoke either a warm reaction or a frightened look as if they were ashamed to be looking at me in the first place.

The other way of being 'othered' is the taking of photographs with a foreigner. The first time this had happened was when I visited Bogor Botanical Gardens back in March. People were polite and asked me first, to which I happily obliged some four times that day. Since, I have now had my pictures taken with Indonesians in my class, on holidays in Lombok and Bali and even at the water park in Jakarta while I was mucking around in my bikini on water slides. I don't mind being in photos just so long as the person asks. What I openly despise is the sneaky ones who try to do it on the quiet and that freaks me out, I mean seriously what is wrong with just asking?! I had to put one or two people on blast for it but the worst one was when I was in Taman Mini and this dude asked me but I politely said no to his request as I was not in the mood and had already been in a few pictures that day. He said OK but instead of walking away he hung around and started taking photos of me on his smartphone which I did not take kindly so impolitely gave him the finger. Safe to say he got the message after that but that incident really irritated me. Saying all of that, Indonesians mean no harm in taking a photo with a Westerner, for many it is the first they have met one and want to remember the occasion by taking a photo. A strange concept to Westerners it might be but for many in this part of the world it is a big deal to meet a foreigner.

As a black foreigner, many Indonesians believe that I must be African and not British. Either that,or from Papua, Indonesia's easternmost island province. I have been called African or Papuan in the streets and for the most part it does not bother me. Funnily enough, there is a strong African presence in parts of Jakarta, such as Jalan Jaksa and many Africans play in the Indonesian Football League like my mate JP. It is surprising however, to be automatically labelled as African, considering the exposure that English language films and music videos featuring black artists from elsewhere in the world get over here. Not to mention the fact that the current President of the United States happens to be an African American who actually lived in Jakarta. Unfortunately, Africans do not have a good reputation here and Indonesians can sometimes be very quick to judge people based on stereotypes of people with dark skin (aggressive, dumb and ugly). I therefore feel it is my duty to combat such stereotypes and also educate my students and Indonesian friends that it is not cool to judge people based on  their skin colour.

In the eight months I've been here, I have not knowingly experienced any form of racial discrimination. As a matter of fact, most Indonesians are curious more than rude. I remember this one time sitting on the bus home with Manc C and the 'conductor' asked me in his best English where I was from and I replied Jamaica - I normally say England because it’s often thought that Jamaica is in Africa - and to my surprise he immediately busted into a rendition of ‘Three Little Birds’ by Bob Marley. He then turned around to me said he knew I was Jamaican because I was black.  I couldn't help but laugh because at the end of the day he meant no harm. Indonesians like Reggae and Bob Marley is regarded as somewhat of a deity to lovers of Reggae. Another little incident that still makes me giggle happened while I was pair teaching with Brummie A, a class of four year olds. We were doing an activity in which the kids were to touch something according to the colour I called out. I instructed ‘touch with your little finger something brown’ and one of the little ones Ola, ran up and touched me. I stifled a giggle while A was both horrified and amused. I thought the whole thing was hilarious and its incidents like these that make me laugh at myself once in a while; however, for every funny story there is a 'what the hell?' story.

The first of the incidents happened in March on the way back from Bogor. Myself, L, S and Manc R were sitting on the train heading back to Jakarta when an Indonesian soldier dude in his forties hopped on and took an interest in S, so they started chatting. Now S is British of Iranian descent and the soldier was totally convinced she must be Arab-Indonesian because ‘brown people don't live in the UK’. At this point, we were all shaking our heads and thinking what the heck. Trying to appease the group, he asked R his name and where he was from and then the same to L. When he came to me, rather than following the same line of questioning, he shouted and pointed 'Negro, Negro!' to which all my mates were like 'Dude, you can't say that!'. He didn't even say sorry or acknowledge me in any other way but carried on talking to everyone else until he disembarked. My immediate thoughts were that this is what ignorance can do to a forty odd year old man. The incident left a bad taste in my mouth but for the most part I forgot about it.

Little C and I were walking home from Jaksa at about 3:00am. Tipsy and merry, we engaged in banter the way two girls who had had a good night would. We walked past some locals and greeted them with Selamat Pagi and they responded in kind. Then we walked past this shack with two men just standing there chatting to each other. As we walked past, one of them shouted 'Nigger, Nigger!' I looked over to C and asked if I had heard right. She responded yes because she heard it too! Tipsy and tired, I did not have the energy to confront the dude and call him out on it. I went home and slept. Now I personally do not use the word in my daily speech because it’s an evil word with very negative connotations. Thinking again about the incident, I got angry as to how the hell an Indonesian would know that word?  It wasn't until I sat down and I watched MTV that I found my answer....the hip-hop music videos! They bleep every other word except for 'shit' and 'nigger' because they are not offensive right?! WRONG! Damn right it's offensive! A few of my fellow teachers have said that the word has come up a few times in their classes mainly teenagers and adult classes where many of them tell their students that it is an offensive word and should never be used. Most Indonesians are not aware of the negative connotations of the word because there is a lack of dialogue or education about it. While it is not cool, it is incredibly sad. 

Despite these two incidents, I have never allowed them to get me down because what would be the point? I prefer to let things roll off and remember all the other lovely Indonesians I have met. Being black does add a different dimension to living here but for the most part, it has helped me appreciate my skin and heritage all the more. I love talking about growing up in Jamaica and living in the UK to my students and Indonesian friends as much I love hearing them talk about Indonesian culture. Knowledge is power and with this dialogue, I feel richer for it and I hope the knowledge I impart makes people feel richer. In conclusion, being Black in the Big Durian is about being and different and therefore making a difference.

Bali - a photo essay

   Doc and I spent a total of four full days in Bali.We had a full day in Seminyak where we stayed in the upmarket area of Petitenget before setting off to Nusa Lembongan for three nights. Our final destination was back on Bali soil where stayed in a private hotel on the cliffs of Nusa Dua. Apart from a night out with friend D and visiting the famous Tanah Lot on a day trip, we did not do a great deal of sightseeing around Bali. Hell we did not even have a cheeky drink in Kuta! Our final day saw us visiting Tanah Lot and watching the stunning sunset over Jimbaran Bay. As I reflect on our trip, I can say that while we had an awesome time, did not get see much of the real Bali, I guess I have to make a return at some point.

Bali we will meet again, I promise!

Bedroom of Ivory Resort

I'm a sucker for hotel robes

Chandi, an uber - posh bar in Seminyak

Sangria and a very Berry Mojito

Fish Sulawesi style

Best Beef Rendang

Sanur Beach - leaving point to Nusa Lembongan

Bedroom at Jimbaran Cliffs

With my friend D at The Rock

Tanah Lot

Doc gets blessed!

Silhouettes in the sunset

Sunset over Jimbaran Bay

Going

Going

Gone